It was heartwarming receiving all the congratulatory messages from friends and family as we crossed the 34 year milestone of marriage. Once, long ago, we were two bright eyed young friends that fell in love and ultimately decided that we could not imagine life without the other in it. This was the easy part. In time we learned that love alone cannot sustain a marriage. Faith in each other, hope, trust, forgiveness and determination would all play a role.
Raising children added depth to our partnership and made us discover the art of selflessness. Through our children we found that our hearts were big enough to handle more than our love for each other. We were amazed at our capacity for love when our family grew. Suddenly, and with no warning we realized that as a couple we were no longer the center of our universe but our children were.
It would be so easy to take all the credit for making it through the years.
In retrospect it was a network of people that came together at different stages of our journey to weave memories, make bridges, mend fences, and bring laughter and joy and more importantly place the rocks on which our foundation of love has had a place to grow on. There were times when we needed the broad shoulders of others to cry on , the strong arms of loved ones to embrace us and the never ending belief that no matter what came our way we would never forget that life was unimaginable without the other in it.
We started our journey with starry eyes thinking the two of us could conquer the world armed with only love for one another. Reality set in quickly and at times we found that we were our own worst enemies, each independent, strong willed and confident that our way was the only way. Each of us ambitious and intelligent, and quickly learning that these were not the skills needed to have an enduring marriage. Slowly we learned to respect each other's space , finding our own safe spot within the marriage, and allowing each other room to grow.
Marriage is indeed a conundrum because through it all we have discovered that we are both independent yet dependent on each other, and we are both individuals, yet we need each other to complete us.
No one can tell the future, but after thirty four years together we have reached a stage where there is comfort in silence, there is joy in companionship, and there is the gratitude that we long ago recognized that life would be unbearable without the other in it. So we move forward knowing that we are still two strong willed individuals that fate has somehow destined to be soulmates and it is this sense that brings us joy in our journey together.
