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| John at the 2008 Goan International Convention (photo by Bosco D'Mello ) |
Dear John,
I never thought that I would have the opportunity to write a Dear John letter in my lifetime, but I find myself writing a goodbye note to the most endearing John of all.
I will miss you. Every time we met, you had a few nuggets of wisdom for both Kevin and myself. I always left your side learning a little more about my community and with a renewed look of wonder in my eyes for you.
When Kevin and myself returned from an International Goan Convention in Portugal in 2007 with a commitment to see the Goan Organizations in Toronto host the next International Goan Convention in 2008, you were the only one that encouraged us to see it through. The intention was to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the first International Goan Convention held in Toronto in 1988.
During that stressful time when all Goan organizations remained aloof and indifferent you were silently championing us to carry out these plans on our own. You checked in on me all the time and spoke with determination that translated into motivation and sometimes panic on my side.
With your motivation and the coming together of like-minded individuals and strong supporters of the community we were able to bring that vision to fruition. We had a Convention celebrating the arts including fashion, literature, architecture, music and language. You helped us coordinate with the seniors so that they took on the responsibility of having a Konkani workshop at the convention. The seniors also produced a Konkani language handbook that came to be used by many interested participants long after the event.
But that was not enough for you, every time we met thereafter you showered us with your admiration and insisted that I write up the event and all that went into it so that it could be properly archived. You my dear friend were my guardian angel always standing by our sides through out the event, not in a showy way but in the shadows quietly showing us the support and strength we needed. I will miss your presence in so many gentle ways.
On a personal note you spoke so kindly of my mum and dad. Always looking out for them at the senior events at Square One. When my dad could not attend a particular event due to ill health and I accompanied mum, you always insisted I take home some food for him. Later I learned so much about my dad that I did not know as a child. You had taken a shining to dad and would always talk to him about his days in Nairobi with the then East African Railways and Harbors. You were amazed that dad had such a high position and that he supervised and had the “white men” report to him when he was so young and in a climate where it was unheard of. Of course my dad was very modest and never talked about himself as having achieved something grand, but you made me see that side of him. When dad started to lose his memory you kept insisting I document his past because he came from an era of change that would soon be forgotten. You shared our sadness when dad passed away and in your quite demeanor and glossy eyes I found some comfort.
I do not know how many people knew you personally. You were such a big part of the seniors community but never took credit or lauded your contributions. Unless one had the privilege of being your friend they would never know that you were truly affectionate and had the biggest heart of all.
Dear John....I hate to say goodbye
