Another year ends

When I was young the approach of another year did not evoke any thoughts of regret, hopes or resolutions.   Being wide eyed and full of excitement, the only feelings we anticipated were those of excitement as our parents talked about bringing in the New Year, and being allowed to stay up till midnight.   My father always opened a bottle of "Baby Champagne" and we all got a drop in our own little glasses to toast the New Year, wave our noise makers and whistles,  and listen to our parents reminisce of all the New Years gone by.  It was so much fun and over all too soon as good nights were said and we were finally tucked into bed with a sense of giddiness and joy.

Tomorrow we will bring in 2016, another year in our calendar.  I now think that we adults are way too serious about the New Year.  It should still evoke the same feelings of excitement that we have all journeyed through another year in time.  Those of us who have lived through the last 50 years have seen such phenomenal changes in human lifestyles.  The age of electronics has surpassed our wildest imaginations.  Looking back at days when teachers refused the use of calculators in the classroom because we might be too dependent on them and stunt our own intelligence.  The days when I insisted my children use the library instead of the computer to do their research, or the days when I thought they were much too young to even own a cell phone.

During my parenting years, negotiations were in full force in the ever changing environment of technology.  I soon realized that I was the one with the problem, not my children.  The world was changing and moving on with such momentum that if I did not get on the platform I would be left behind in this new world of electronics, and I would drag my children with me.

The commitment to embrace this new age is so exhilarating and frustrating for me.  No sooner have I caught on to the intricacies of the many valuable tools on my PC or smart phone, and sit smugly grinning as my children wonder who has walked off with their real mom, when I realize that some new AP has already arrived to keep me on my toes and appear intelligent.

I can now turn on my TV and have a smorgasbord of shows to watch.  I remember having only 2 channels on TV when I was a child.  The world has become a playground for all ages, stimulating visually and intellectually.

What I have learned is that the world around us seldom stays static.  Everything and everyone around us is in constant change and if we are not alert we could be left behind, even in relationships. We must embrace change.  Embracing change is the most difficult task in life, but it is not only necessary, but inevitable if we are to move with the times, and enjoy the many advantages that change brings to our lives.

So as the year 2015 comes to an end, I have only one resolution.
"Live, Love, Laugh"
In a world of constant change, I will arm myself with only 3 tools, the ability to live, the ability to laugh, and the ability to love.  Some days I may live without laughter, but I resolve never to live without love.

Christmas is for everyone, not just Christians!

So Christmas is in the weeks ahead.  I love everything about the season - the lights, the music, the gifts, the sweet and rich foods, family, friends , and most of all the spirit of joy it infuses into the air.

Stuck in the middle between atheism and religiosity is me - in a place where there is awe for the natural world around me and gratitude for all that I am, and all that I hope to be. Knowing full well that I have every opportunity to reach out and grab the world for all it's wonder - both spiritual and material!

The season is about love.  But in order to love others we must all first find love within ourselves.  Loving ourselves gives us permission to be atheist, religious, indifferent to world views and still find room in ourselves to be kind to our family and neighbors, and to the natural world and all life within it.

The celebration of Christmas is for everyone, not exclusively for Christians.  While it may take on a more religious meaning to Christians, it does not take away from the message of love, peace and joy which is universal, and extends to all humanity.  Christmas does not belong to any one person because love is universal.

I see social media posts asking me to put Christ back into Christmas. I recall that the biblical Christ lived and loved, was accepting of all people including the socially unacceptable, did not spend time in any Religious institution and most importantly left his followers with only one commandment - Love one another.

So this is Christmas.... I have the Christmas music blasting, I don my red apron and I bake as much as I can. I take out traditional recipes that I never looked at when I was young because my mother would painstakingly take the task on all by herself. At Christmas time my childhood home was filled with the sweet smells of baking, and goodies that were sampled in moderation until that day when Santa arrived and we as young kids awoke with wonder and joy and hope.  My mother is older now and her hands cannot articulate the way they used to.  She and my dad now wait for me to cook the traditional Goan sweets and foods which I joyfully reproduce as best as I can.

With the sweet smells wafting from my kitchen will come the even sweeter memories of Christmas past. My parents holding hands and kissing each other on Christmas morning. My siblings and myself dressing up in our new Christmas clothes, going to Church as a family. A day that was spent with a special Christmas meal, Christmas sweets that were only made for the season, moments playing with our new toy ( yes we only got one), friends visiting - love, joy and peace.

Today I will start the first of my baking. The Christmas Carols are playing,  I am making my lists of groceries and gifts.  I am remembering so many beautiful Christmas moments.
I remember the year that I was reacquainted with my childhood friend Kevin while visiting Goa for Christmas in 1979,  and Christmas 1980 when we got engaged..
I remember Christmas 1986 when I celebrated my newborn son Alex who was only 3 weeks old and dangled loosely in his new Christmas romper, while we cooed and looked upon what we thought was the most beautiful baby that was ever born.
I remember Christmas 1989, a year in which I lost a son after 6 months of a very tenuous pregnancy on November 22 after very many painful emotional and physical procedures. We named him Matthew,  and celebrated Christmas despite the loss we felt.  Alex, my husband and myself found hope in the comfort of love, peace and joy.
Christmas 1991 was spent with another addition, our daughter Emerald (Emmy) who bounced into our lives with a love for fantasy and awe.

For me, Christmas today is a season of gratitude.  A time to remember how fortunate I am to reach this place in my life, and to be able to celebrate it with my mum and dad, my family, my extended family and friends and pets.  To see awe in the eyes of children, to watch my mother's joy when she eats the sweets I have prepared from her recipes, to see my son Alex married to a beautiful girl Gunit, and starting new memories of his own. To watch my daughter Emerald completing her final year of Veterinary Medicine, and living her dream of following her dad's profession.

Yes there is both sadness and joy in everyone's past.  The beauty of life is that if you roll with the times you look back at a tapestry of life that has formed a picture of grace and gratitude, and yes indeed love, joy and peace.

So don your own red apron, your ugly Christmas sweater, run naked in the snow if you wish, take a walk on the wild side, but do it with a smile!  Be selfish, love yourself for all you are worth and more, and then love your neighbor.

Christmas is for everyone, not just Christians!