So Christmas is in the weeks ahead. I love everything about the season - the lights, the music, the gifts, the sweet and rich foods, family, friends , and most of all the spirit of joy it infuses into the air.
Stuck in the middle between atheism and religiosity is me - in a place where there is awe for the natural world around me and gratitude for all that I am, and all that I hope to be. Knowing full well that I have every opportunity to reach out and grab the world for all it's wonder - both spiritual and material!
The season is about love. But in order to love others we must all first find love within ourselves. Loving ourselves gives us permission to be atheist, religious, indifferent to world views and still find room in ourselves to be kind to our family and neighbors, and to the natural world and all life within it.
The celebration of Christmas is for everyone, not exclusively for Christians. While it may take on a more religious meaning to Christians, it does not take away from the message of love, peace and joy which is universal, and extends to all humanity. Christmas does not belong to any one person because love is universal.
I see social media posts asking me to put Christ back into Christmas. I recall that the biblical Christ lived and loved, was accepting of all people including the socially unacceptable, did not spend time in any Religious institution and most importantly left his followers with only one commandment - Love one another.
So this is Christmas.... I have the Christmas music blasting, I don my red apron and I bake as much as I can. I take out traditional recipes that I never looked at when I was young because my mother would painstakingly take the task on all by herself. At Christmas time my childhood home was filled with the sweet smells of baking, and goodies that were sampled in moderation until that day when Santa arrived and we as young kids awoke with wonder and joy and hope. My mother is older now and her hands cannot articulate the way they used to. She and my dad now wait for me to cook the traditional Goan sweets and foods which I joyfully reproduce as best as I can.
With the sweet smells wafting from my kitchen will come the even sweeter memories of Christmas past. My parents holding hands and kissing each other on Christmas morning. My siblings and myself dressing up in our new Christmas clothes, going to Church as a family. A day that was spent with a special Christmas meal, Christmas sweets that were only made for the season, moments playing with our new toy ( yes we only got one), friends visiting - love, joy and peace.
Today I will start the first of my baking. The Christmas Carols are playing, I am making my lists of groceries and gifts. I am remembering so many beautiful Christmas moments.
I remember the year that I was reacquainted with my childhood friend Kevin while visiting Goa for Christmas in 1979, and Christmas 1980 when we got engaged..
I remember Christmas 1986 when I celebrated my newborn son Alex who was only 3 weeks old and dangled loosely in his new Christmas romper, while we cooed and looked upon what we thought was the most beautiful baby that was ever born.
I remember Christmas 1989, a year in which I lost a son after 6 months of a very tenuous pregnancy on November 22 after very many painful emotional and physical procedures. We named him Matthew, and celebrated Christmas despite the loss we felt. Alex, my husband and myself found hope in the comfort of love, peace and joy.
Christmas 1991 was spent with another addition, our daughter Emerald (Emmy) who bounced into our lives with a love for fantasy and awe.
For me, Christmas today is a season of gratitude. A time to remember how fortunate I am to reach this place in my life, and to be able to celebrate it with my mum and dad, my family, my extended family and friends and pets. To see awe in the eyes of children, to watch my mother's joy when she eats the sweets I have prepared from her recipes, to see my son Alex married to a beautiful girl Gunit, and starting new memories of his own. To watch my daughter Emerald completing her final year of Veterinary Medicine, and living her dream of following her dad's profession.
Yes there is both sadness and joy in everyone's past. The beauty of life is that if you roll with the times you look back at a tapestry of life that has formed a picture of grace and gratitude, and yes indeed love, joy and peace.
So don your own red apron, your ugly Christmas sweater, run naked in the snow if you wish, take a walk on the wild side, but do it with a smile! Be selfish, love yourself for all you are worth and more, and then love your neighbor.
Christmas is for everyone, not just Christians!
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